Looking back and ahead

I wasn't aware 2 months had past since my last scribblings. As you can guess, I have been very busy.  First I spent so much time contacting my former colleagues from North Sea Ferries and put up old pictures on the facebook event page I set up.  This started out others going through their photographs and even looking up stuff on the internet and I really enjoyed seeing new facebook friendships grow and everybody connecting again and I really felt good about this.  Many of you probably saw some of the going ons on fb.  After my last post here I kept going.  At first I was a bit worried that it would not be a succesful reunion because  it took some people a long time to confirm their attendance,  But 2 weeks before the event some 70 had confirmed, some couldn't make it on the day, so we were 63, and 46 of us actual ex NSF.  On the day of the reunion, I was very nervous.  But there was no need for that.  My sons and their friends did a splendid job serving the food and drinks and it was such fun to see everybody in a great mood at renewing friendships and catching up on what everyone had been up tosince 2003 and how their children were doing and if they had grandchildren.  It was great and there was not nearly enough time to talk to all of them.  They all brought so much Potluck, I still have some chips and nuts left, even after I gave away half of it and used some myself on my birthday and at Christmas.  One of my dutch friends, and it was great that so many of them drove all that way to join us, had prepared a wonderful power point presentation with lots of pictures and videos from 'the good old days'.  It is amazing that even after such a long stretch of time, you immediately feel at ease again with old friends.  Afterwards I realised how I had missed this familiarity, and it is maybe a bit sad but on the other hand : it was great back then and I have all these funny and happy and some sad shared memories.  After the reunion I did still spend time posting pictures and mailing pictures to the ones that are not on fb.  A lot of time spent on my computer but rewarding.  After that, I was looking forward to the arrival of our American friends.  They arrived on the 20th December and I collected them from the airport. It was great to see them again.  On my birthday, 21st December, the supposed Maya end of the world, I took them and son Niels and friends that helped out at the North Sea Feast with POtluck out for dinner to thank them for helping me out.  We had a wonderful evening with them.  I had some offtime from work and Christmas dinner to prepare.  I did a lot of cooking, and eating I might add, over the past 2 weeks, but enjoyed having all the family here even though we had to move some furniture around and 3 champagne glasses were sacrificed. On New Year's eve we went to my brother and had a great dinner and evening there.  Wednesday our American friends had to go back home.  And now well : I am teary eyed and snotty nosed, not from crying but from a cold I seem to have caught.  The New year comes with new challenges, losing some kilo's I seem to have gathered over the last month or so (that is not really a new challenge), selling our parental house (that may not prove to be the biggest challenge - emptying it of all it's contents will prove far more difficult I'm sure) and last but not least : planning a holiday that is a bit out of the ordinary, but I guess nobody woul call that a challenge but rather a wonderful propect.

Nostalgia

I haven't been writing here for a long time.  I have been thinking about the past quite often recently.  I finally took action and I am organising a get together with my co-workers, friends I should say, from  North Sea Ferries.  So I went through old photographs, to try and spot faces and try and put names to the faces and try to find their address, email, phone number whatever, to get in touch with them.  I found it really surprising that some people seem to have disappeared from the face of the earth.  You would expect that with all the social media, we have all lost our privacy.  Some people clearly have not. Before everybody had a cell phone, most people had a phone in their home and if you had their name and knew the name of the town they lived in, you could find their phone number and home address.  Nowadays, most mobile numbers are not listed.  I find it even annoying at work that a lot of persons emailing omit their contact info from the mail and you have to mail them back, even if a phone call of 1 minute would be enough to explain, or ask something.  I guess I am kind of "old school" in that I find writing mails or even texting more cumbersome.  I started out with a list of about 50 contacts and it grew to 150.  And still frequently a name or face pops up that I had not thought of before. Some are very enthusiastic and others don't even acknowledge they have received the mail.  For some it is difficult to join in, especially for our friends from the other side of the Channel, but even the dutch colleagues have to travel a long way.  Still some of them think it is worth the effort and I really look forward to seeing them again.  No doubt a lot of funny, some sad and more than 1 embarassing story will be told that night. In the same time frame I went to my parent's house.  We already spend a day clearing out part of the attic.  I can assure that there was and still is a lot of stuff in that attic.  I found clothes I didn't know my mother had kept.  A suede jacket that I bought when I was 16.  Dresses, coats  and trousers from the same decade so from 40 years ago.  We found sunlight soap and 'union match' match boxes.  Vim powder, used for cleaning, anybody under 40 probably doesn't know what i'm talking about.  My school books were still there, and my brother's.  There was a diary my dad wrote during the war. I haven't read it yet, but I will.  So if I do feel a bit nostalgic, I have good reason to be.  Still, I am looking forward to seeing my old friends again.  Nostalgia does not mean I am only looking at the past with regret, I am remebering the good times and trust there are a lot more good times ahead.

Ferry Good

The summer, or should I call it that, has almost come to pass.  I don't think the past months will become one of the finest summers this decade let alone this century. I have been very busy getting in touch with old friends and colleagues and family, but also had some difficult times when my sister was in hopital and I had to take care of her and took on all her household tasks. Last weekend I met up with a former colleague I hadn't seen for 9 years as she lives in France, and we had a great day in Bruges talking about the good old days and our lives since 2003.  Meanwhile I still enjoy spending time with my grandchildren.  Our granddaughter Ophelia is such a cute and very actve child and when she comes round I always dance around with her.  She is always dancing and jumping and skipping around, it's a lovely sight and she always wants me to join in.  So all in all I am Ferry Good.  'Ferry good' was actually de baseline to North Sea Ferries when I started to work there in 1978. During my first years there, the small ferries, Norwind and Norwave, that sailed to Hull from Zeebrugge, often arrived late due to stormy weather.  On one of those occasions, the ferry arrived in the evening about 10 hours delayed.  The crossing was overnight, the ships leaving at 6 pm and arriving around 9 am.  Not only did the ferry arrive late, she was supposed to depart again the same evening, but we already knew she would stay in Zeebrugge for 2 days because  some of the cargo had been damaged,  All pasengers and freight that were booked on the cancelled sailing had to be contacted and offered alternative ways to travel : catch the ferry from Rotterdam, a 3 hrs drive away, get a refund and travel via Dover, or stay the night and go on the ferry the following day.  Most of the time there weren't too many passengers so we had no problem getting things sorted.  Our office and the berth were located on a dock seperated from the tides by a lock.  When the ship was in the lock, we could see her but only standing on a a chair, or the window sill.  My boss was an impatient man and the first time I saw him getting up on the window sill to check wether the ship had already gone into the lock, I almost burst out laughing.  After that first time, I found it quite normal for him to be on the look out.  Whenever anything went wrong and we had to deal with delayed or cancelled sailings, he would always be around to see how things were going, and offering us his assistance.  But he was such a nervous person that nobody would ever ask him to help out, a fact he knew and often he would sense that his presence was not required and quickly say "I'm gone already" and hurry away, back to his office.  One of the things that I will  never forget is the blockade of the french ports of Calais and Boulogne in August 1980.  It was the heigth of the summer season and lots of British passengers were returning from their holiday on the continent.  All of a sudden our small terminal that was only meant to accomodate 249 passengers at the most was swarmed by 5 times that number.  On the first day of the blockade, 10 full coach loads of passengers turned up out of the blue on a Sunday.  The Normandy Ferries ships, with names that seemed a bit strange to us (Leopard, Lion, Panther) that were not stuck in the blocked ports in France came to Zeebrugge but that was not nearly enough for the large number of passengers and cars or the number of trucks hoping to get accross the channel.  We did part of the handling but some of the french staff came to Zeebrugge. But somehow they were more relaxed than we were, and even managed to disappear for a 2 hr lunch break, much to our dismay as we worked almost round the clock.  The people waiting to get on the ferries were lined up on the road into Zeebrugge and food and water distributed by the authorities.  The passengers at our terminal used our facilities for washing and even doing dishes.  People were almost prepared to fight to get a place on one of the ferries.  The whole thing lasted 2 weeks and although it was a very exciting time, we were all happy to have our small terminal back to ourselves when it finished. And the blockade ended with another anecdote : a  Spanish truckdriver, poor man, had driven to Zeebrugge on the day the blockade had been lifted, only to find that the Normandy Ferry ships no longer departed from there and he had to return to Boulogne.

Memories of the good old days

The weather being as it is I have some time to write again.  I'm having a really lazy Sunday although in a way I have been busy doing some paperwork. I finally took action and contacted a lot of former colleagues from my ferry days for a big reunion.  I had set a date in September, the weekend before I'm off on holiday, but as many of them seem to be out of the country at that time of year I have changed the date to November.  That does give me some extra time to get things sorted.  Not a bad idea seen that I will be very busy at work in August and the first half of September.  Some of my friends were in doubt if this is a good idea but fortunately a lot were really full of enthousiasm to get back together again.  I knew before I set out on this task that this is how people react so I'm not too bothered. I'll just carry on and see how things turn out.  In the process of trying to contact as many NSF colleagus as possible, a lot of memories came back to me.  I suppose this has to do with my age.  Some names seemed to be burried very deep and I had to do a lot of digging and to my disappointment there are still faces I haven't been able to match with a name.  I am trying to get the ones I have been able to get in touch with to help me out.  You would think that it should be fairly easy to get in touch with people nowadays, but some people just can't be found.  Not everybody is on facebook or linked in or google and I guess most must have a mobile phone but with an unlisted number.  One of my colleagues was actually saying that there not are only happy memories and quoted (I don't know who) that 'the past is never where you think you left it'.   Ofcourse over a period of 25 years there have been many happy, but also many sad occasions.  That's just life.  The ship sailed out in the evening and arrived in the morning.  When I started working there, the small ships only carried a maximum of 249 passengers but when I left the company the ships from Zeebrugge could accommodate a 1000 passengers.  It was a night crossing and there were restaurants,shops and bars on board.  Everything that happens on land can occur on board.  There was a birth once on the ferry to Rotterdam.  That was a very happy occasion.  Unfortunately there were also fights, deaths and even suicide or passengers gone missing. In the early days, the ferry often arrived late when there were gale force winds and some passengers joked that NSF meant Not So Fast.  We had problems with strikes, but the Iron Lady put an end to that and one of our ships was requisitioned by the British government for troop transport during the Falkland war, leaving us with a chartered vessel for 6 months.  I saw new ships being launched and named.  Some people may believe we should let the past be the past, but the future is built on the past so even looking ahead means leaning on the past.

Life as a hostess

When I was studying tourism - I know that sounds funny - I lived in Blankenberge and had to take the train to Bruges every day.  A short trip, less than 15 minutes.  But even then we played at cards for the short trip.  You were still allowed to smoke on trains back then, so we did that too.  Arriving in Bruges, I often noticed a couple of girls in navy blue uniforms waiting on the platform to catch the train to Zeebrugge.  They were hostesses working for a ferry company, but I didn't know that.  In winter they wore a cape.  I was only 17 and for some reason or other I loved the uniform and often saw myself wearing one.  That was a bit odd for me because I hardly ever wore a skirt or dress, jeans being the 'uniform' of the day. When a Lufthansa stewardess came for a talk about her work I was at first very disappointed to learn that I wasn't tall enough to qualify as a stewardess. So when I graduated and had to work at the ferry as a trainee for 2 months, I  was over the moon.  But to my grave disappointment, I didn't have to wear a uniform because I would not be working at the check in desk, but on the reservation department.  I still remember my first call with my boss to be.  I had to make an appointment with him to introduce myself and to learn what the job would be like and what would be expected of me.  At the end of the phone conversation he said : 'I will see you then, okidoki'.  I thought it very funny that my future boss used such a funny word "okidoki" and told everybody what a weird person he must be.  Rememeber this is 35 years ago when working relationships were a lot more formal than is the case now.  Fortunately for me, it was a very informal company.  All the staff on the passenger department were in their early twenties, like me, and some were married but none of them had children yet.  The Manager was just 10 years my senior and his assistant 6 years older than me.  I enjoyed my 2 months there very much and was a bit sad to have to leave.  I found a job doing secretarial work at the casino in Blankenberge.  Some people may think that would have been rather more glamourous, but it wasn't.   Blankenberge isn't Vegas by a far stretch, and my boss there was a 60 year old, very formal and very conservative frenchspeaking man.  The only thing good about the job was that I got to know some nice people and my closest colleague became a close friend.  7 months on, my trainee boss called with a job offer, again on the reservation department (still no uniform) and that was that.  I hoped to be in that uniform sooner or later anyway.  At the time the company did not only operate a ferry service from Zeebrugge and Rotterdam to Hull (Kingston upon Hull), but also a jetfoil, between Zeebrugge and London.  The Jetfoils were something special, new and exciting because they were built by Boeing and they sailed up the Thames and moored at Tower Bridge. The crossing took about 4 hours whereas you already needed the same amount of time for the normal ferry crossing from Zeebrugge to Dover alone and you still had a long  train ride from Dover to London.  Many people wanted to travel on the jetfoil instead of  travelling to London by plane.  The crew 'flying'  the jetfoils and the maintenance staff were american and we spent a lot of time with them.  The only disadvantage of this new exciting way of crossing the channel was that they often broke down and then we had to transfer the passengers to fly from Ostend on British Air Ferries, who were very happy with the business we gave them.  Now and again we also had some celebrity passengers like the now Sir Cliff Richard and Golden Earring.  They were exciting times and oftenwe joked about how we would tell our children and grandchildre all our funny stories, or even write a book, changing all the names.  Perhaps I could tell some of those "fairy tales' here.

Change

This year seems to be starting off with a lot of changes for me.  It is a cliché that everything changes sometime, but at the same time a Greek philosopher once said that nothing is new under the sun.  I am not worried for things to come, whatever this year still has in store for me, although at 55 I was expecting some stability.  I have always embraced new experiences so I know I can deal with a lot. Will all this change be for the better or worse ?  I don't know yet.  For now, things seem to be going fine.  Our 6th grandchild was born on the first day of spring and everybody in the family is fine. I like my job and don't mind being alone in an office most of time as much as I had expected.  In fact I am getting used to it.  When I worked for the ferry, I could never work undisturbed on a weekday.  I shouldn't say undisturbed because I never felt disturbed.  I just happened to be person that was good at solving problems and it was my responsability, and I loved doing it.  It's just that sometimes at the end of the day I felt I hadn't gotten anything done except putting out small fires all day.  Sometimes I had to go in on the weekend and before helping out the hostesses at the busiest time at check-in, I would get some work done, all alone in a very large office.  Sometimes one of the hostesses at reception would call me with a question or other and than  would jump up at the sudden ringing of the phone in the quiet office.  And always I was so amazed at how much work I could do without interruptions.  So now in my new job it is the other end of the scale and I am actually enjoying it.  I have to get to grips with all aspects of my job on my own.  I have to figure out how the computer programs work, what's important and how things can be done efficiently, on my own. I don't mind that., It just means that I need some more time to learn it all.  But the advantage is, it's easier  to remember something you have had to figure out on your own then something that you'v been told.  So all is well on the job front.  There is some more change to come there : my boss is retiring in 2 years and in autumn he would like to start working part time.  Hopefully by that time there will be someone to replace him.  But as I said : that's fine with me.  I would almost say : bring on the changes, but that might sound a bit overconfident and  I dont want to taunt faith too much. So I will leave it at that and deal wth what's on my plate for now, just to be on the safe side.

Wordt alles anders ?

Al 2 maand verder of moet ik zeggen amper 2 maand verder en er is al zoveel gebeurd.  Mijn nieuwe job valt heel erg mee.  Aanvankelijk had ik eigenlijk een beetje reserves.  Nog nooit heb ik een job gehad waar ik gewoon zelf mijn werk doe en er niemand is die tussendoor een beroep op mij doet.  Ik heb er geen probleem mee om met verschillende zaken tegelijk bezig te zijn.  Maar nu word ik maar af en toe onderbroken door een telefoontje of m'n baas die iets komt brengen of de postbode.  Het grootste deel van de tijd zit ik dus echt helemaal alleen m'n ding te doen.  Vroeger ging ik bij de ferry wel vaker in het weekend werken en dan genoot ik er eigenlijk van om eindelijk eens door te kunnen werken.  Ik schrok me dan telkens een bult als één van de hostesses vanuit de receptie dan al eens belde met een probleem aan de check-in.  Ik moet zeggen dat ik het na 2 maand toch wel leuk vind.  Ik moet alles een beetje zelf uitzoeken, ook iets dat mij wel ligt en mijn nieuwe werkgever vertrouwt daar ook wel op, wat ik wel fijn vind.  Ik werd er zelfs al op uitgestuurd om een vergadering bij de wonen en al gelijk de vergadering te notuleren.  Dat is allemaal goed verlopen en dus zie ik het wel zitten daar in de Polder.  Anders maar misschien ook wel beter.  Maar daarnaast is er ook heel wat gebeurd.  De laatste maanden ging het niet zo goed met mijn moeder.  Sinds ze in september gehospitaliseerd was, ging het niet zo goed meer : ze zag almaar slechter en de oogarts bevestigde dat dit niet kon verholpen worden. Dat maakte dat m'n moeder meer moeite had om TV te kijken en te lezen, zowat het enige wat zij nog kon doen als ze alleen was. Ze klaagde ook steeds vaker over het feit dat ze veel alleen was en op het laatst zei ze zelf dat het misschien tijd was om naar een rusthuis te gaan, iets wat tevoren voor haar echt geen optie was.  Ze at ook heel weinig, volgens haar omdat niets nog smaakte.  De huisarts maakte zich op een gegeven moment zorgen over haar algemene gezondheidstoestand en vond het nodig haar te laten opnemen in het ziekenhuis.  Maar op dat moment was er geen reden tot paniek want ons tripje naar Hull konden we gewoon laten doorgaan.  Toen we terugkwamen was haar toestand zo verslechterd dat ik ongerust werd en een paar dagen later overleed ze 's nachts.  Haar hart had het begeven, dan toch nog een beetje onverwacht, want de dag ervoor leek het weer wat beter met haar te gaan.  En zo werden we ineens geconfronteerd met hoe eindig alles is.  Ons reisje naar Hull had ons daar ook al aan herinnerd.   Onze dierbare vriendin, de echtgenote van een collega, was vorig jaar overleden na een strijd tegen kanker van een paar jaar, en het was voor het eerst dat we onze vriend weer terug zagen. Hij liet ons haar afscheidsbrief lezen en er waren dus ook wel een paar emotionele momenten, naast het blije weerzien met hem en nog een paar andere vroegere collega's. Het was heel leuk om herinneringen op te halen van de goeie ouwe tijd en we hebben er dan ook van genoten en beloofd dit keer geen 4 jaar te wachten om nog eens terug te gaan.  En dan, nog geen 2 weken geleden, kwam ons zesde kleinkind Emilia ter wereld.  Goed gezond en alles goed met moeder en kind.  Grootmoeder zijn is iets wat veel vreugde brengt.  Vorige week kon ik dat nog eens ten volle ervaren toen Ophelia een dagje bij ons was terwijl de papa bij de mama en Emilia in het ziekenhuis was.  Ze mogen dat kind ieder weekend naar mij brengen.  En verder.  Een drukke week gehad 2 weken geleden met de laatste repetities en de voorstelling van de Revue van de toneelkring waarbij ik souffleer en dat was een groot succes. Nu wordt het dus weer even rustiger en ga ik dus vanaf volgende week weer iets aan mijn conditie doen en m'n voornemen voor een grote reünie eens in daden omzetten. Daarnaast moet er natuurlijk ook heel veel geregeld worden na het overlijden van m'n mama.  Ons ouderlijk huis zullen we allicht verkopen en dus zullen we het ook nog moeten leegmaken.  Genoeg om niet in een zwart gat te vallen zou ik zo zeggen.